IWD: What Are Women Without Marriage?A Missionary’s Musings on Womanhood & Purpose.

What happens when a woman’s purpose is no longer tied to marriage but to something eternal?

I know IWD has passed, but as I sat to write, one thing kept stirring in my heart—womanhood. Here’s the gist.

My probation year is over, and the “What’s next?” question keeps rolling in from friends and family. Ideally, this should be the moment when I fling open the doors to marriage proposals—but I’ve chosen to keep them shut. Why? Simply put—I’m not ready.

The Tension We Carry

I grew up in a society where two opposing voices pulled at me. One screamed for female independence, the other insisted that a woman’s life is incomplete without marriage.

Torn between these extremes, I searched for my footing, longing for peace. But independence, for all its appeal, didn’t satisfy the deeper hunger for freedom in my soul.

And then, I realized something: within many daughters of Eve lurks an unspoken fear—

“What if I never get married? What if I never have a man?”

A Universal Struggle

Now, God has placed me among a people where women are either seen as baby-making vessels or as accessories to satisfy men’s desires. Their highest aspiration is marriage—to bear children and see them married off. Even their assurance of faith is intertwined with it.

Every time I meet someone, the question inevitably follows: “Are you married?”

For the past year, I’ve served as the only female teacher in the local primary school. When villagers pass by and see me teaching, I catch the curiosity in their eyes.

“What must they be thinking?” I wonder.

Here, faith is understood only through the lens of what the mallams (Islamic scholars) teach. There is little room for personal exploration or deep conversations about truth.

Is There Hope?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” —Matthew 11:28-30

Part of learning from Jesus has led me to prepare for marriage. But to truly understand marriage, I must first understand singleness.

I now see that both marriage and singleness are gifts—designed by God to display His glory. Each one is given by grace, for as long as He wills.

Why Do We Marry?

Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s covenant with His Church—designed to mirror His love, sacrifice, and commitment (Ephesians 5:25-33).

What’s the Purpose of Singleness? (Isaiah 56:1-7)

Singleness, too, is a calling that reveals profound truths about Christ and His kingdom:

1️⃣ The family of God grows not through biological reproduction but through faith in Christ.

2️⃣ Relationships in Christ are more permanent and precious than biological family ties.

3️⃣ Marriage is temporary and ultimately gives way to the greater reality it points to—Christ and His Church.

4️⃣ A life’s worth is defined by faithfulness to Christ, not by marital status.

As these truths take root in my heart, fear fades. The thirst for independence gives way to a deeper calling—the call to live for something greater, whether married or single.

For the woman who puts her hope in God, no created thing—not even marriage—can satisfy her soul.

A Light in the Darkness

I pause and ask myself: Could it be that God has placed me here, in this season, to display the richness of Christ through singleness?

Is there a girl, a young woman, or a mother silently watching me, longing for the freedom I have?

Have I been too unaware?

Dear God, have I truly made myself available for Your purpose? Can they see Your light?

It’s time to be intentional.

Join Me in Prayer

🙏🏾 That the glory of God would shine through the women on my team to the Kyanga women.

🙏🏾 That Kyanga women would come to know the deep satisfaction found in Jesus alone.

🙏🏾 For open doors to discuss marriage and singleness—and that these truths would take root in their hearts.

🙏🏾 In May, we plan to reach 50 pregnant women with vital prenatal care information and essential medication. Pray for open doors and the success of this outreach.

Final Thoughts

I don’t have all the answers. In fact, much of what I’ve written here didn’t fully settle in my heart until I started writing.

But one thing I do know: God is weaving every detail of our lives for His glory.

I pray that many women will rise up and embrace true freedom in Christ.

Until next month,

❤️ Always,

Iwanger

PS: I Have Gifts for You! 🎁

📖 Momentary Marriage — John Piper

Watch Here

📖 Love, Sex & Relationships — Dean Sherman

Watch Here